Masud

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• The Soul of Europe has remembered its Pelagian Drinking Song.

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• Every bar is sinister, a stain on your escutcheon.

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• Woking teaches you not to be a Martian.

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• Always attend the mosque of someone else’s ethnicity.

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• Defensive religion dies.

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• European Islam? We Elches will survive the Holy Office when there are zambras as well as coloahades.

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• It is not your heart that keeps you alive, it is watching it.

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• Do not think that no woman is a slut, a harlot and a wanton.

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• Let not your experience of Rigour cause you to doubt Gentleness.

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• The least likely of your sincere falsehoods is your words: ‘I am a Sufi!’

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• The Teacher brings you near to the Divine rigour and gentleness.

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• Do not say ‘The qualities of mercy preponderate’, without adding, ‘but they do not eliminate.’

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• Let not your final thought be: ‘I could have been the dust beneath the feet of the saints, but I refused.’

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• Pray that you be granted knowledge in joy rather than in pain.

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• Finding the Teacher will not makes things easier, but it will make them clearer.

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• Every sin insults your honour, damages your faith, and courts punishment in this world and the next.

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• ‘Out of the names of Allah, whoever understands al-Sami’, al-Basir, al-Alim and al-Shahid, will never turn his attention towards expensive things.’ (Shahidullah Faridi, r.a.)

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• Only in generosity is the believer reckless.

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• You have an extended family.

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• Political theology: what proportion of sin can be removed if the temptation is removed also?

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• The Monoculture’s complaint about Islam amounts to only one demand: Be like us!

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• Khidma heals where ego ails.Khidma heals where ego ails.

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• Universalism and Egypt: Edom is the child of Moses and Isis. Islam is the child of Abraham and Hagar.

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• Transhumanism serves someone else’s ethics, not ours.

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• The 21st century: making love in the ruins of an earthquake.

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• Every sajda is a perfect opportunity to repent. (‘Did We not give you years enough?’)

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• Modernity: turn the world into a single piece of clockwork, which might then break.

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• Edom! Be just, even as James was just.

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• ‘The trouble with marrying your mistress is that you create a job vacancy’ (Sir James Goldsmith).

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• Real Sufism Rule No.1: I am a nuisance. Nobody else is a nuisance.

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• Were every Muslim only to spit simultaneously at Israel, it would drown.

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• The ego loves the grand gesture.

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• The pluralism born of the ism is no pleonasm.

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• The drama of the world is not the clash between Muslim and Pagan, or Tradition and Revolt, but between Love of God and Love of Self.

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• Demonic hatred is to see nothing of yourself in the other; virtuous hatred is to see the worst of yourself in the other.

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• Ignorant is he who believes that God can no longer take him from himself to Himself through a sudden knowledge of himself.

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• You think the world is His ice; but the water of His being is still water.

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• Salat is to teach you your own nothingness; du’a’ is to teach you your own helplessness.

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• It is hard to die right with God in the arms of Morpheus.

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• Never practice ordinary goodness.

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• The monoculture’s religion: God is represented by only one body.

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• Feminism? Tell the maenads to look at the sky.

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• The business of banks is the encouragement of debt.

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• The believer is the one who knows that the factual content of the Qur’an is only a fragment of its significance.

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• The Prophet was not his own.

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• Fiqh is to protect the anwaronment.

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• Not Ibrahim, but Brum’s ibram bifurcates the Big Heathens from the Small Heathians.

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• You will only understand art if you understand that modernity is against it.

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• The Teacher asks for nothing, and offers infinity; therefore give everything that you have.

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• Fitnas shall be bowled to thee. Play up! Play up! and play the game!

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• The gates of paradise are not only for the Sufis, but the inhabitants of Paradise are all Sufis, without the least exception.

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• The Monoculture is blind to the niqab.

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• ‘Tahrir’ usually indicates affiliation to the Haruriyya.

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• Only Rind takes pleasure in the senses; the secular is Zahid.

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• Form without meaning is without style.

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• ‘Asian voter’? Rather Disraeli than Dyce Sombre.

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• Uncle Same was not told that only Ghazali can heal Baghdad.

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• Existence is the perception of being.

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• Fashion is chic-anery.

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• Eudaemonian economics are Edomonics. Ishmael, however, pays with God’s coin.

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• Islam allows you to cut the web of Chalcedonian gerunds, and to see the face of Christ.

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• al-Ingiliziyyatu fusha al-Khalij.al-Ingiliziyyatu fusha al-Khalij.al-Ingiliziyyatu fusha al-Khalij.al-Ingiliziyyatu fusha al-Khalij.

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• The Liber Asian was the Dravidian revenge.

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• Our Shaykh-ul-Islam showed that Muslims may have three legs.

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• Guilt is to turn ugly acts into punishments.

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• The feminist has wine in her breasts.

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• Qawmun li’r-rutab, wa-qawmun li’r-rutab.

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• The lighter you are, the more you see your own darkness.

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• You have received everything that you have.

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• This is not the Modern Age. This is not the Postmodern Age. This is the Age of Khawatir.

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• The beginner looks at the results of action. The sage looks at the action itself.

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• Do not say ‘Halal’ or ‘Haram’ unless you know whether you yourself are Halal or Haram.

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• To respect her, first respect her sanctity. (Dowland, ‘Time Stands Still’)

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• He who marries for self-esteem shall surely be destroyed.

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• A man’s jihad today is to be a man. Women are already good at being women.

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• The fathers have died.

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• Haste is an attempt to steal God’s time.

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• The false Salafi cannot see that Allah’s light is green, not red.

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• Whatever it is that has taken you from the position of the majority, it is the ego.

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• Wisdom conjoins tafwid and ta’wil.

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• Modern education: seek knowledge from the cradle to the gravy.

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• Modernity is an out-of-body experience.

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• Islam is the love of the saints.

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• Complaining about the jalal? A volcano is always beautiful.

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• Help Uncle Same by throwing his tea overboard. ‘No taxation …’

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• Understand prayer, and you understand all of Islam.

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• Old age is so that you might grow more beautiful.

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• Modern art: This is what creation would have been like, if atheism were true.

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• If you do not know that Wudu is there to humble you, then you will never understand the bathrooms of our masajid.

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• Make time for the Prayer, and the Prayer will make time for you.

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• Here Dubai, gone to borrow.

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• Drink deep during the jaam session.Drink deep during the jaam session.

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• The Monoculture exists to frown upon the dance of the soul.

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• Fulfilment is predicated on full consciousness; full consciousness is the gift of reflection.

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• Islam is not just a large religion, it is religion at large. ‘I am sent to all mankind’.

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• Love the Other to be an athari; love the Self to be a salafi.

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• Othering is ithar, not ta’thir.

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• The Book, in which there is no crookedness, will take away your crookedness, if your body is open to it.

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• The world has become small because there is nowhere to go.

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• Maidens! Feminism is the membership-ticket of the Monoculture.

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